High Tide at Dawn

So there was this one time, when I was about nine years old, that my sister and I walked into the kitchen to find the dishwasher spewing massive pillowy mounds of foam. We had run out of powdered dishwashing detergent and someone had evidently substituted liquid dish soap.

Alarmed, my sister ran towards the dishwasher, only to find that it had apparently been belching out suds for quite some time because the floor was slick with soapy water.

She went flying.

I mean truly, ass-over-teakettle.

I mean, it was such a massive and clownishly epic wipeout that, when I re-enacted it 22 years later for my little niece, she laughed so hard she practically peed her pants.

And then she did that thing kids do where they make you repeat the action like a hundred times until you're bored and sore and you need to sit them down and deliver the ol' lecture on comic timing, reading your audience, and the rule of three.

The reason I tell this story now is to indicate in no uncertain terms that I KNOW you are not supposed to use liquid soap in a dishwasher.

I REALIZE that if you put liquid soap in a dishwasher it will be like bubble mating season.

So I did NOT put liquid soap in the dishwasher. Ok?

I used Tide.

The powdered kind, OK?!

But for those of you planning to try this at home, powdered Tide and liquid Dawn are pretty much the same damn thing when it comes to stuff you shouldn't put in your dishwasher.