Makin' it rain in monsoon country

I spend my time in the Oslo airport judiciously, applying makeup and nail polish at the duty free store and changing a large Norwegian bill into Thai baht while wondering if I'm the only American today who has done that. Here is a picture of my pimped out fingernails clutching an indeterminate denomination of Thai money.

I lag behind at boarding, watching my phone creep up to 73% charge at the USB port in the lounge. Last on the plane, I make my slow way back to seat 54, snug between a window on one side and a very hot guy on the other. Aw dammit. I didn't apply makeup so I could flirt; I did it because it was free. All I really want to do is wriggle around impatiently, take pictures of the in-flight free beer, and fall asleep with my mouth open. I don't want to try and have amazing hair for ten hours.