Privacy is Dead. Chivalry is alive, in the form of an artificially intelligent droid who opens cyber-doors for you...

...into rooms full of more crap for you to purchase.

Circus Ninja has accepted the reality that she cannot trust the Internet. Circus Ninja realizes that passwords will be saved, mailing addresses will be automatically filled in to online questionnaires, and email messages from ten years ago can reappear suddenly in the event of an unexpected deposition.

Circus Ninja understands now that when she moves to, say, Israel, she can expect that when December rolls around her Facebook ads will start offering her donuts.

Circus Ninja now absorbs, grudgingly, the revelation that there is SOME force or program that reads all of the messages in her Gmail account, scanning for buzzwords with which to tailor its advertising to her particular interests.

Here are some things that Circus Ninja does not understand:

WHY, if she replies to a childhood friend, "OMGsh that guy is so cute I wanna have like ten thousand of his babies," does Gmail immediately produce an advertisement for competent mohels to perform a brit milah?

WHAT did she write to any number of friends that could have produced the following sidebar of advertisements, taken verbatim from Gmail this morning?:

Learn French in 10 Days. World-famous Pimsleur Method. As seen on PBS.

Creative Thinking.

Holocaust Tour, 12 days. Meet survivors; all inclusive.

Halal Jerky - Insane Beef Jerky

The Next Dor Conversation. For those dedicated to the next generation of North American Jewry. Why am I suspicious that the "ten thousand babies" comment had something to do with this?

The 9mm Won't Save You. Discover what Self-Defense Masters and the Army don't want you to know.

Quran/Koran. Enlightened explanations.

Conversations for Families. Conversation Starters About the Day.This one completely cracks me up. I can't think of a funny punchline, just...gah. Read it again. Picture me at the dining room table, surrounded by, say, Dad, Grandma, one or two of my sisters, a handful of young children, and...some pages I printed out off the internet.

FUNNY ANIMAL PICTURES. [emphasis added.]

Gospel Lyrics.

One can't help but notice that, between the Next Dor business, the Halal jerky, and the Gospel lyrics, Gmail is really keeping its religious bases covered.

Clearly Circus Ninja has not been writing enough tell-all letters to her atheist, Hindu, and Greek Orthodox friends.