Sneezy. Bashful. Deadly.

My friend's fiance is one of those excessively, ineffably likable people who just seem to have fewer character flaws than the rest of us. She and I discovered this when we were discussing our own character flaws and decided that they are opposites: she is too slow to stick up for herself, whereas I pull out the ninja stars if you so much as drink the last of the chocolate milk.

Stumped as to how to identify her fiance's flaws, my friend said, "Well, let's do this, what are the seven..."
Of course I thought she was going to say, "deadly sins."
She said "dwarves."
We decided he is Doc and we still don't know what his flaws are.

Which brings me to the point of this post, which is that when I'm traveling, we need to add dwarves for the number of character flaws that I develop.

#1: reckless driving. In the days before an overseas trip, I start driving like a crackhead who has unexpectedly run out of crack. I'm not disorganized. I don't have more errands than I have time to do. I drive recklessly because I'm going to miss driving. I drive like it has been three and a half minutes on the bumper cars and I know my time is almost up.

#2: thievery. Pre-departure preparations involve a lot of waiting rooms - haircut, dental appointment, and the like. I'll stack two magazines on my lap, read the top one, and let the other one find its way into my purse. I make sure the lower one is at least a month out of date so really, I'm just "encouraging cell turnover."
I don't actually think of this as stealing, but I make sure only to do it when no one is watching, so what does that tell you.

#3: maudlin displays of fatalism.
In the form of "if anything happens to me..." letters to my siblings and one ex.